15-Reels, Jigs, Tunes, Ditties, Polkas, Doggerel, Leftovers, Slow Airs and Fast Women

 

The Deacon Jerry Reel (in D). Okay. It’s not a real reel. Really. Not in the strict sense of written for Irish dancing and whatnot. But since I wrote this one, I can call it that if I like. Besides, The Deacon Jerry Symphonette just sounded too — I dunno? — pretentious? for tinwhistle? Yeah… too pretentious.

The Chapel Bell This is a jig with an interesting fumpflet. It’s like a triplet, but there’s five of ’em.

The Clare Jig I bet you think this is a jig, don’t you? Well… you’re right. It is. And a durn fine one at that.

Hey! Macleod! Get Offa My Ewe! (in D). Just the tune. This one is dedicated to every kid at Renaissance Festivals all across the country running around in a Clan MacPizzahut great kilt and carrying the sort of Japanese-style sword that the Bud K catalog would call “the secret sword of the Emperor.” Yeah. Pull the other one. The only reason he keeps it a secret is if all the other emperors saw that piece-of-crap sword, they’d laugh at him. Y’all know who you are.

The Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing. This fine dance tune has almost certainly got to be an adaptation of an Irish tune from somewhere.

Away With Rum and Away With Rum – More Verses By gum. Away with rum. In the South Seas, there’s a creation story that tells about God walking along the beach and feeling lonely, so he does the only reasonable thing to do when you’re lonely. He gets drunk. (Apparently, there is a lot of naturally fermented fruit in the South Seas.) He gets so drunk he throws up. He separates the light bits into day and the dark bits into night and the world is created. Soon he’s lonely again. Same deal. Same result. He separates the dry parts into land and the wet parts into sea. This goes on and on until the last time God throws up and separates the hard parts into man and the soft parts into woman. Then God is not lonely anymore.

Jennifer’s (Sad Tune) (in D). It’s a waltz. It sounds kinda sad if you play it slow. I got the notes to it scrawled on a bar napkin. From Jennifer. Didn’t know what else to call it. So, there you go, then. (UPDATE: According to Keith, this song is actually called “Coming Through the Rye.” I’m going to leave it called “Jennifer’s,” though, for the simple fact that I almost never have opportunity to actually have a woman write something on a bar napkin for me. Here’s to you, Jennifer, wherever you may be…)

Henry Joy (in D). An okay tune.

Blarney Pilgrim A jig. A most palpable jig.

Miss Suzy Had a Steamboat (in G). Miss Suzy had a steamboat the steamboat has a bell Miss Suzy went to heaven the steamboat went to hello operator give me number nine and if you cannot find it I’ll kick you in the behind the refrigerator there was a piece of glass Miss Suzy sat upon it and cut her little ask me no more questions I’ll tell you no more lies The boys are in the bathroom zipping down their flies are in the meadow and bees are in the park all the little boys and girls are kissing in the dark the dark is like the movies the movie’s like a show the show is like the TV and that is all I know.

Cherish the Ladies Duet for Fute and Tinwhistle in D. This arrangement resulted from someone asking for something for two tinwhistles. This says it’s for flute and tinwhistle. Sure. It says a lot of things. But there is no reason it couldn’t be played on a tinwhistle and a low tinwhistle, or even two tinwhistles. If there’s any interest in stuff like this, I might work on some more. What do you think? Worth it or a complete waste of time? Let me know…

Tommy Goblin’s New-Age Five-Percent Jam (in G). This is another flute and whistle duet. I fully expect this form of music to eclipse solo flute in the very near future. After all, who wants to hear Gallway alone when you can hear him with someone who’s cool. Someone who plays a whistle.

The Earl’s Chair (Reel). Hey, Bubba… Where’s a good place for Earl to plant his backside? In Earl’s chair, of course. So comfy, it got its own song.

The Connaughtman’s Rambles Another jig. I like this one for its title. I thought of kidnapping the Connaughtman and letting him ramble out a few descriptions for some of these tunes. But I wasn’t sure exactly where to find him. Connaught, maybe?

The Return of Spring (Polka). This tune commemorate the Return of the Spring… to Gondor. I think they made a movie about that. Or maybe wrote a book.

The Rattling Bog Polka. Not just a fun song to sing… it’s also a polka. And everybody loves a polka.

Polka Your Eyes Out

I Have a Bonnet Trimmed in Blue (Polka).

The Flogging Reel

The Eagle’s Whistle (Slow Air). I love a good slow air. In Native American Flute Music, there actually is an instrument called the eagle whistle. It’s suppose to be made from a bone of a Bald Eagle, but actually having a real Bald Eagle bone would probably be enough to get you labeled a terrorist and shot by Dick Cheney. Mine’s synthetic. It even came with a soft plastic gig bag… a Ziploc bag.

The Dingle Reel (Reel).

The Barren Rocks of Aden (Polka).

Saddle the Pony Jig. I like this one. It reminds me of Bill the Pony. From Fellowship of the Ring. There’s a pony who didn’t really get the attention he deserved in the movie. Must not have had a very good agent.

Sailor’s Hornpipe A sailor’s life is the life for me bud-da-ba-bump-da-dunt did-dy-did-le-did-le lee and I’ll never ever ever do a thing about the weather ’cause the weather never ever ever did a thing for me.

The Bank of Ireland (Reel). What’s a reel good place to rob if you’re a pirate? Arrrgggh. That be the Bank of Ireland, matey.

Aura Lee A nice little practice piece. If you need to practice. You do practice, don’t you?

Foxhunter’s Jig Another jig. To be played by foxhunters. Although, I suppose it’s okay to play it if your not a foxhunter. But if anyone asks, say you are. Or at least a fox inconveniencer.

Donnybrook Fair Another jig.

The Kesh Jig A jig. I think it was written in Chicago. Maybe.

Maggie in the Woods Another POLKA!!! Yes! I love a good polka!

Merrily Kiss the Quaker’s Wife Slide to the left; slide to the right. Kiss the Quaker’s wife and wait for the fight. (By the way… she has oatmeal on her breath. Or maybe it’s motor oil.)

The Merry Blacksmith I know this guy. His name is Ed. His day job is to repair photocopiers, but he’s also a fine blacksmith. And plays bass in a rock band. Happy guy. You’d like him. Find the blacksmith’s booth at the Kansas City Renaissance Festival and ask to meet Ed. Tell him you heard about him here. It’ll probably confuse the heck outta him.

Pigeon on the Gate Reel.

Mike McGoldrick’s Jig. I wish someone would write a jig and name it after me. And then make it world famous. And then I could go on the talk show circuit and Oprah would be like “what’s it like having a jig named after you?” And I’d be like “it’s cool, you know. Cool.” And she’d be all like “Okay.” And I’d be all like “Yeah.” And then we’d go to commercial and when they came back I’d be gone.

Miss McLeods’ Reel. I wish someone would write a reel and name it after me. And then make it world famous. And then I could go on the talk show circuit and Oprah would be like “what’s it like having a reel named after you?” And I’d be like “it’s cool, you know. Cool.” And she’d be all like “Okay.” And I’d be all like “Yeah.” And then we’d go to commercial and when they came back I’d be gone.

Sheehan’s Irish Imports Reel. If I had a store, I wish someone would write a reel and name it after my store. And then make it world famous. And then I could go on the talk show circuit and Oprah would be like “what’s it like having a reel named after your store?” And I’d be like “it’s cool, you know. Cool.” And she’d be all like “Okay.” And I’d be all like “Yeah.” And then we’d go to commercial and when they came back I’d be gone.

The Sally Gardens Reel. About the garden where they grow Sallies. They’re a type of flower, kind of like a chrysanthemum.

Scatter the Mud Jig. About mud scattering, of course.

She Waded in the Water Glory, glory hallelujah! She never got it wet. Yet.

Ships Are Sailing Reel. A might fine reel.

Sligo Maid Reel. If you play it reel fast and reel loud, it must be a reel, right?

Spanish Lady A polka. Spanish ladies figure big in Irish music. Don’t really know why. If you get on a boat in Spain, the tide must carry you more or less to Ireland. Which is a pretty good deal, really. Aren’t the Connemara ponies suppose to be the descendants of Spanish horses that swam ashore after a shipwreck? I know that ponies aren’t ladies, but shipwrecked ladies swimming ashore and reproducing would certainly explain why so many of them are mentioned in Irish music. Just a theory.

Swinging on the Gate. My sister Catherine and I did this once when we were kids. It was a colossally heavy metal corral gate, too and the darn thing fell of its hinges. It fell toward me and I was lucky to be thrown clear. Catherine rode it down and hit face-first against one of the metal pipes in the gate. She knocked out a front tooth. She had to go to the hospital, where — fortunately — they were able to put it back in. I was about nine and Catherine was about six. Mom was ticked off, and of course it was my fault because any nine-year-old should have had the engineering skills to see the flaw in swinging on the gate. Moral of this story, kids: stay clear of gate swinging. You could very likely end up in the hospital with a serious injury. You might even get killed. Now, with that said, enjoy the song.

The Temperance Reel. There you go. A reel. About temprence.

Top of the Cork Road Jig. The top of the Cork road is asphalt. It collects oil. Underneath that is a gravel matrix. Underneath that is some dirt. Worms live there. This song is closely related to “The Worms Crawl In,” which you can also download here… making this a full-service free-music site.

Tour of Scotland Reel. I’d love to make a tour of Scotland. And I’d love to get a kilt and wear it all over Scotland while making that tour. Which is probably something that gets you laughed at in Scotland, or so I am told anyway. Which is too bad, since if a Scot comes over here and buys, say, a pair of cowboy boots to wear all over Missouri and Kansas, I wouldn’t laugh at him. Heck — I’d encourage it. I’d even take ’em out to the best place I know to get a nice pair of boots and a cowboy hat to go with it. They’d look great. It’d be a blast. Now, if they bought say, one of the Rodeo Rider shirts they sell at that store, I might have to laugh a little bit. But that’s true for anyone — Scottish, American or Nigerian — who buys one of those shirts. But, if they did buy one of those shirts, I’d take ’em out to a bar I know where they could ride the mechanical bull. And if they could stay on longer than I can, I wouldn’t laugh anymore. But if I did laugh, it would be a good-natured thing and not in a ridiculing way at all.

Tripping Up the Stairs Jig. Who hasn’t done this once or twice. THWACKboomp. Ouch. “What happened?” “I just fell UP the stairs.”

Bonaparte’s March (Hornpipe) Another traditional tune… because you can never have enough of those.

Chief O’Neil’s (Hornpipe) Another traditional tune… because you can never have enough of those. No, really. You can’t. It just isn’t possible.

Drunken Tinker (Reel) Another traditional tune… because you can never have enough of those. Have you had enough yet? No? See what I mean.

The Home Ruler Another traditional tune… because you can never have enough of those. Had enough yet? Let me hear you say: Thank-you-sir-may-I-have-another? Thank-you-sir-may-I-have-another? Thank-you-sir-may-I-have-another?

Lord Randall’s Pride And here it is… another. Another traditional tune, that is… because you can never have enough of those. This one is another Scottish tune. Mmmm. I love Scotland. I love Scotch. I love Bourbon better, but Scotch is nice, too. Lord Randall’s Pride — TT. The Tinwhistle Tablature version of the song.

Her Dies. It’s old. It’s French. It’s got to be good, right?

Her Taps and Dies. It’s newer. It’s not French. You be the judge.

Banshee. A good tune for Halloween night, don’t’cah think? Get Reel.

  One Response to “15-Reels, Jigs, Tunes, Ditties, Polkas, Doggerel, Leftovers, Slow Airs and Fast Women”

  1. Thx, for yr good wrk, i.e. putting up on the net sharing all these great tunes and songs w/ notation and lyrics ‘n not in da least yr joshing comments 😉 pls, keep’em coming. Much appreciated yrs sincerely, Joe

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